Dr. Wayne Dyer, a philosopher and writer, cited the prose of Portia Nelson, her life in 5 chapters, a fable about self-awareness with the power to make a new, and different, choice, yielding a different result, or preventing a bad outcome.
When I first listened to Dyer's reiteration, I was young, just 16. I remembered the many business owners and community leaders I grew up socializing with, and the stories they told. "Insanity is the same thing, done more than once, expecting a different result", is what came to my mind as a youth. I had no examples of people making [big] mistakes, neither examples of repeat problems either, at the time. My attitude was to focus on the goal, and train through to championship game. There was no time for mistakes, nor deviating from the sleep, physical training, and nutrition regimen.
It took me until my early 30's to appreciate and absolutely value the extraordinary community that I grew up in. We were insulated, but also traveled, educated, and globally aware. When I began to travel extensively after a corporate exit, I already knew the stats and benefits of having been raised in a smaller, homogeneous culture. I knew the stats of private school, under/graduate education, economics, and geography, and how each of these had positive influencing effects on outcomes.
What I didn't know, is that it wasn't just those things that had been insulating. There were a million behaviors and support structures of loving, successful people in my family and community, that being born and raised in the Bay Area, I was protected in Los Gatos, in the Santa Cruz Mountains on our estate, and later on, in San Francisco (where my great-grandmother had had an estate, and a great-grandfather, a Bakery). I felt seen, cared for, known, and as life was handled, I was focused on living up to expectations, of being who my parents raised me to be, and creating legacy.
97% of the things in this life that concern me, are actual events that I observed, when I was traveling. Not traveling for business. Traveling to remote areas for beauty and solitude. Frequently traveling alone. Now, I hold my own, so I largely remained unscathed.
I tend to put on my "p" hat (Myers Briggs Perceiver) when I travel, and so my heart, wide open, and my Applied Behavior Therapist training (observe and measure everything impeccably), hones in on (a) whatever anthropological research I'm doing, (b) current meditation practice (it is so much fun to do these "in the field"), (c) any business research, (d) someone else's cry for help or environmental / situational danger. Danger is the wrong word; safety is the right word, or being wise in discernment is better. Is it wise to do this? Is it safe? If there is uncertainty, what preparation is needed to make it safe? What is the SWOT analysis?
Wrapped up within (d) ended up being other people's cry's for help. Which, may be a "hook", as Pema Chodron would call it, or "deep hole" as Nelson writes. I was raised in a sub-culture that believes in Self-Sufficiency AND helping others, in a structured way. I also was raised with "if you see something, say something", which was instilled in me from my grandfather.
Self Sufficiency. Like the airplane oxygen mask metaphor, you can't save the person next to you if you put their mask on first, only to go unconscious from lack of (O) (then their mask falls off, and what is the status of the both of you?). Self reliance, to me, is similar to any winning athlete's training regimen. There is learning (unconscious incompetence, conscious incompetence, conscious competence, unconscious competence). There is training (perfect practice). There is a schedule, routine, support, mentors, discipline, and focus. Generally the athlete is focused on their part in contributing to the win, and their self-care and growth. They and their team are equally assets. They train and grow together, and win.
None of this could have occurred without a stable foundation and the support of all "players", especially the ones "off-the-field": the sports performance MD, the Inspirational Speaker, the Chauffeur, even the janitor who cleans the gym at the end of each night. Everyone is important. Everyone has a place.
Self-Sufficiency is making the choice to hang up the phone with your partner at a certain time, because even though it feels great to be this in love, you need your sleep and to wake up refreshed.
Self-Sufficiency, in my family, was largely automated and so "unconscious competence". I had been interviewing business owners and I noticed that the ones who were at the top of their game, knew the details of why they did what they did, what worked, and what didn't. Whereas it seemed to me that the business owners who were innately talented, and unconsciously competent, struggled to articulate their method. I further discovered, after enough interviews, that they actually DID know, inside; they just often had not thought about it in those terms, or they were creative / rebellious and didn't want to admit it, or, it was SO unconscious, that their friends, family, and any trained observer could watch them and be able to summarize their method, but they themselves, truly could not tell you (until after the fact and until after someone they trust pointed it out using a style that was compatible for them to receive it).
Once when I was in San Diego, I had just attended an event, with prominent friends, and things were largely where they needed to be. I had stayed in a swanky hotel. I was also doing co-living research, and interviewed a man from CouchSurfing. Talking to him, alarm bells went off. As I can hold my own, I sensed what to do to make the situation tiny, and disengage. I was curious though, why he had even said the things he said. I had never heard anything like it. It was both disturbing and fascinating. On the trip back home, I casually asked two women, who were best friends, if they had any tips or tricks they kept in mind when they traveled alone as women. They were full of helpful ideas, and as they shared more and more, I thanked them. I also asked if they were open to sharing with me, how it was they decided what and who to say NO to. They stopped talking. They looked at each other for a second. This was the pause (the good type). Eventually they answered, but it was small. I had to dig deeper, and give them a simile their mind could accept. It was interesting to watch, as at first the pause was pleasant, and then it turned to worry or concern. They needed a casual concept to overcome their fear and move forward. My example was easy enough for them, and you could see the "weight" of their fear release as they exhaled. Then they laughed, and said, "Well, we are totally boy crazy, but we never hang out with men when we travel somewhere new, unless our [respective] boyfriend's are with us, their friends; or we're not only going to a public place, but also somewhere at the right time of day, with the right amount of people, and in the right geographical spot." OK. I got it.
Since their anxiety was not completely gone, I shared with them that I had asked, as I had done an interview with a male CouchSurfer, and it was supposed to be a group interview, but only he showed up, and it was only he and I. "Oh! He lied to you." They said. I chuckled. I sat back and thought about the things that I HAD done without thinking, that had helped my outcome in that situation. I had printed out an itinerary of my hotel and girlfriends numbers. I had called my family before and after. I was just hanging up with a relative when I arrived to the interview, and made a quick text to my friend who I was staying with that night, within 15 minutes. Other than that, my behaviors were appropriate, and my questions on point. I did feel uncomfortable enough that I dropped rapport building, and kept my personal details private.
I was lightly jarred from my internal train of thought, when the girls asked me for more details. After they had gotten over the feelings they had had, now they were curious and wanted to gossip. I kept it light, and shared a few relevant details. Then they probed, like only women can. They asked me questions that failed to be directly related, but the fact that they asked them at all, gave me wealth of knowledge about various precursors and outcomes. Finally, they asked me about the calendar date. They wanted to know the date he had signed up for that platform, and the date I had interviewed him for my research. They also wanted to know his visual details & posts. Got it.
During this discovery process, I learned two indicators, that have to be part of a threat assessment (albeit after the fact). I also learned, that platforms, and what they promote, cannot be biased as safe "because". There is a psychology phenomena that occurs which is inherent trust based on same community or membership group. People skip their "stranger-danger" assessments, projecting feelings of kinship and trust onto new people when there is a commonality or connection to an affiliation they're part of or informed about. Many of us know about cognitive bias. This is deeper though, where familiarity can be used as an intentional psychology tactic to circumvent due diligence. The Art of Deception by Kevin Mitnick, is the first book my employer had me read in December 2000, when he wanted to make sure that I personally, was as secure a vault as the legal trusts he created for his private equity clients. Mitnick, a black-hat, turned FBI informant, turned white-hat, exposes social engineering tactics in his book, and helps to ingrain that mistakes are never worth it, when innocuous questions or occurrences, actually aren't sapless at all. Like Jocko Willink speaks about vantage points, when one thing by itself is "nothing", but three "nothings" summated, equals a breach... it's all about situational awareness and knowing what to look for.
One investor I met with in 2014, asked me why co-working & co-living was such a small market share of real estate. I told him I didn't know specifically, as the several models I had worked in, albeit for years, were profitable and successful. He said that was not the norm for this segment, and made a comment about knowing what was on both sides.
I took on the challenge, and married it with my love for travel and exploration. I learned, that it's not about the Premium Model, which is profitable in that market segment, but too niche. I learned, that giant(s) in the industry, had used the Silicon Valley Model of VC funds and Speed Of Implementation, where they could afford losses until they captured the market. I later took on additional inferences about the other side of that, with the WeWork documentary.
When I visited co-working that wasn't working, there was a combination of factors. There were problems created by staff, which the management couldn't see. There were various "emotions" hanging out at the space, instead of it feeling like a clean, ordered, high-level, well-running beautiful office. Like attracts like. Issues with a team's performance, personality, or within the building, drive good people away. Some of this, I think, could be made an excuse and brushed of as "start-up", but I've seen how VC's start-up, how Private Equity starts-up, how an old expert pro starts-up, and how everybody else does. There are differences and nuances that are transparent and palpable.
When I visited co-working spaces that worked, they were clean, orderly, organized, clear, and run professionally. Even if an intern or young employee, the backing was highly seasoned, and it showed.
When I chose to visit co-working spaces based on price alone, I found something very interesting, to me. In the lower tiers, none of them were clean, nor could get clean (based on the age of the building). None of them looked good. But inside, this is where I met some of the most unique and brilliant creative solopreneurs. Handfuls and many dozens of sharp, bright, focused, creative geniuses, all doing talented things. Hardly any of these rare individuals, statistically make it to the top (some do), and it's generally a combination of factors. However, they do make it to the top in their market share as a solopreneur or expert, or even small company in their physical or online location.
Another thing I noticed, is that co-working can be a breeding ground for Gamification and crime. Your IP, is never worth being exposed to that possibility. The buy-in (lowest rental rate) is too affordable, making co-working accessible for literally anyone. Whether the man at the desk next to you, is actually the next Jeff Bezos (seriously, this happens; as a Financial Controller in San Francisco, I leased co-working space to the CEO of Live Nation; also to someone who is now a Director at Google). Or, the desk next to you could also be leased to a homeless man (this actually happened in Austin, TX - he was using the desk to sit in a controlled temperature all day); or a Crypto Criminal (in Austin, TX, this happened too - one Actor was setting up zero-day exploits; another, Zombie Machines; another, Black Market Bitcoin Games); it could be an ex-Amazon fashion designer, who is ERW (no joke, she actually told me what the group she belonged to does); or a US [shell] company, for an AU brand, where the CEO gets indicted for 65M text messaging fraud (this also is real occurrence). Outliers aside, most individuals are hard at work, making their dreams happen. Depending the level of income they were already at, and how many hours they're devoting to their start-up, seems to make a noticeable difference.
My heart is still into the co-working model, however logically, from what I know now, paying more for a private office, and joining Meetup for local events, is a better option.
SOLUTION: better to start-up the right way, in a private secure office.
Unfortunately, hostels & Gamification go hand in hand as well. I didn't want to accept that this was true, until recently. It does depend on the brand. It does NOT depend on the length of stay, which is a factor that invites or deters certain guests, however internal policy can have a hacker check out, then check back in, as a "technical formality". It also doesn't depend on price. Hostels from $20 to $180/night, per bed, same results. Hostels attract athletic adventurers (what I'm into). They also attract digital nomads, hackers, and traffickers.
TIP: Better to spend a little more for accommodations, and stay in the right brand, right location, with the right kind of travelers and people in vicinity.
In 2012, I had begun to review safety vs crime statistics by zip-code, so that I felt informed about the benefits & risks of each place I was going to. Even armed with this data, through 2014, I walked in and out of swanky hotels, down-to-earth hostels, plug-n-play co-working spaces, and relied on using my systems & training to be "inherently" protected. It wasn't until 2020-2021, an entire year of traveling, hotels, nature photography, that I became acutely aware of where I felt safe vs not, by my own grid, regardless of government published crime stats. Whether 4 star or 3, rich area or first hotel I saw from the highway, city or rural, if I checked the location's crime data afterwards, it ended up not being a factor in my experience. To me, this means that how you hold yourself, your "systems-check", your preventative measures, as well as all the little social cues you give off, those matter more.
The MOST crime, actually happened in a wealthy zip code, in Austin TX. It was wrapped up in lifestyle, and what, as an observer, you could see when you looked past the food trucks, beyond the rhythm, around the art, pause to take a beat, and really see what is there, out in the open, all wrapped up together.
I was taking pictures, interviewing people, asking questions about the scene I was in, and the perspective of the local living it. Their experience was cultural. There were also some deep rooted beliefs of those who had been in Texas for multiple generations. There were ideals of cultural philosophy and "vibe" from transplants who were attracted enough to relocate there.
One of the hotel employees, said he and his group are "counter-culture". I didn't know what it meant so I asked him. He gave me a fluff answer. In reading FBI reports this last week, I saw that a synonym for ERW is "counter-culture". Ah, so that is what he meant.
Familiarity Breeds Contempt. I don't know anyone who is contempt, who is wealthy. Its the principals that Dale Carnegie and Henry Ford talk about. It's the focus on excellence, and improvement, experiences, and giving back. There is no time for contempt.
I am unsure how to stop crime. I think the 24% of Americans who suffer from Cluster B disorders, the "Bad" disorders as described by Dr. Ramani Durvasula (she refers to the "difficult" people you know https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h-Vn_Qhyq38); or maybe a better way to say it is those who fail to be eusocial and who are entitled; they exhibit fixed thinking errors & patterns with problems relating to others; they fixate on how they feel, and expand that. (How you do anything is you how do everything.)
An athlete practices and prepares, physically creating the winning state. They often have a "routine" to get into state before a game. A professional artist, and business owner, may also train in their craft and create routines to get into, or stay in, "state" or "flow". People who don't feel good, they practice that. People who are angry, practice that. ERW, they practice too.
Nelson talks about choosing a different road.
Pema Chodron suggests that the "deep hole" or "ERW" may be "Juan or Jaunita"; and she talks about getting comfortable with annoying and horrible things in our environment and world, through Tonglen. It's a breathing meditation, that filters (breathe in red dark hot, breathe out white light cool). It opens the heart, gets us connected between our body, heart, and mind. It creates space (my favorite part about it). It's a tool for positive transformation. (If you change, the world changes. Not just philosophy. It's also psychology. And feel free to check out Jocko Willink; he talks about it too referencing spatial perspective & situational awareness.)
Stuart Wilde, has a different view. His advice: never to go down the road with the deep hole to begin with. It's our choice.
I'm with Stuart Wilde and the leaders in my community growing up (successful people focus on solutions; anyone is being insane when they are doing the same thing that doesn't work, more than 1 time). Focus on what is wanted, not what is not wanted.
There is a caveat though, where if a problem keeps coming up, if it's Persistent, Pervasive, Permanent, then this is systemic. Things that are systemic, are an entire world that I keep leaving behind, over and over, that keep showing up. The Obstacle Is The Way.
I chose HNW & UHNW very early on, as it's a different reality, which I much prefer. People behave pretty similarly related to freedom and possibilities, based on their socio-economic status. It's predicable, based on bracket. The top 7%, they operate one way. The top 3%, operate differently. It's different still in the top 1%, which is the demographic of clients I provided service to during my career. The top 0.1%; these professionals, attended some of the same events, but I didn't know them (well, maybe a few). The way they operate, is entirely different; a very different belief system and state of flow. They manifest differently, and their families organize finances differently. It's not just trust, asset preservation, and wealth management; it's an entirely different system of comprehensive and high level business operations.
Traveling, I've seen much; from families living in houses made of tin and tires; to other extreme poverty, as well as great wealth, throughout 45 of our 50 States. I feel like my grandmother, who says that we don't have what the Rockefeller's have. What we have, is not the top 0.1%. My grandfather taught me to be grounded. His cousin, was top 1%. Different family, with different belief system, operating differently. My grandfather, he wanted to Defend our Country, and served in the Army. He invested in many businesses with his earnings, and had a gift for profit. His love though, was in building houses, for our family, and his wife. He was connected in our lineage, and it went without saying, in everything we did, that we were to fill shoes to honor our heritage, family name, and be a positive force at home and in our community. It was assumed that each family unit, establish a trust for their estate, invest in their own company, and create honorable legacy. My grandfather, is a Walliser. His name means "young ruler", and is also a highest alemannic dialect spoken in Upper Rhone. My grandmother, also with German heritage, is from The House of Cheney, where her roots can be traced to Normandy & Austria as well.
My family's attitude, is more heart centered and creative than the UHNW I know, who operate instead in a more strategic and calculated way, with more structure, expectations, and global support.
Yet, to 90% of the world, a person who earns $60K (this is the 90th percentile earnings in the United States), or less than that - this value of annual revenue - is the majority.
In America, to me, the majority, constitutes its own spectrum. From normal people, to happy people doing what they love because they love it (my favorite), to desperate individuals. I learned early on when traveling, that wearing anything designer, put me at risk. And that criminals are opportunists, seeking any opening. This brain type, can be measured, as poverty has markers in nutrition, which impact neurological formation & development. It impacts both IQ & behavior, which impact test scores. It impacts access. So even those who are brilliant, might not have access to get to school reliably, and/or otherwise, there might be other problems at home that they have to take care of first.
There is a difference between poverty, and criminality. Statistics go hand in hand if other factors are present. An opportunist, fails to see kindness as an asset, which it is. Instead, they view it as an exploit. A criminal, is actually, clinically, mentally ill as their thinking & behavior patterns are destructive & anti-social. Individuals with destructive tendencies, who otherwise "pass", and exist in corporate America - these problems start with the culture & leader. Billionaire Andres Piras spoke of his experience first-hand where a toxic employee sabotaged his company and he took too long to take action - once. He will never make that mistake again. People are our greatest assets. The wrong individual, has no place at a healthy corporation.
When it comes to safety in traveling, I learned, after training with Marine Seals, that opening up my heart, meditating on safety, and sending out love, IS PROTECTIVE, and it works (I couldn't see it as clearly that it worked, until I learned military-level physical defense).
Attributes you need with recreational travel, don't directly translate into the boardroom or an investor meeting, but modified versions do. The billionaire in the room is in a Hawaiian T-Shirt and flip-flops. The most excellent specialists & entrepreneurs, are going to make complicated topics seem easy, effortless, AND digestible. The talented person, is going to be prepared, and know all the variables, and everything in the background that you never think about. How YOU travel, is about how you like to prepare, what you think about and don't, and also how you enjoy yourself. What does it look like? How you meet people, is about being adaptable and discerning, for you. How they receive you; that's a different skill - both you and them. How you read them, is going to be the same thing for those who you choose to work with, and how you hire as well.
Once you learn something, you can never go back. Once you expand, you can never resort back.
The secret to entrepreneurship and investing, to me, is being so excellent, that everyone and else, has no comparison. Seriously. This is the high-price tag specialist niche model. In this avenue, there is no competition, and no struggle; it's almost entirely flow.
The Obstacle Is The Way, I think is akin to how Tony Robbins talks about re-tooling. When I was exclusively in "niche", I outsourced. However, while traveling, there is much I've had to figure out for myself, and as a result, I've got all these new tools now.
The other version of The Obstacle Is The Way, is about systemic problems in our culture, which I don't think we can fix nor change (until we expand our perspective, and adjust the timeline). I do think we can influence and impact. I also think SOME people can change things much better than others. This too: "Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world: indeed, it's the only thing that ever has." - Margaret Mead.
I know that I'm driven by legacy, family, and process improvement. Also excellence, and sports performance. I love this stuff. I was researching co-working, until I got enough data, and now I know. Along the way, everything I did on my own related to nature photography and consulting, was cool. The people I interviewed the last two years, was related to Cyber Security, it's not good. How Actor's operate, is damaging. What they shared with me, are systemic problems, that they buy into, and use as an excuse to do the things they do.
How you do anything, is how you do everything. You do what you do, because it's what you do. Any reason, is an excuse or justification. People are actually much more genetically + core value driven, in general. So, observing someone, or interviewing them, tells you almost everything about them: from how their brain is formed, whether they're right or left handed, how their eyesight is, what genetic markers or rare genes they have, whether dominant or recessive. Their IQ level; their sensing preferences; their belief systems. What they value socially. How they want you to think about them. Whether they lie or tell the truth. Everything is transparent.
THE FORMULA:
To wrap it up - if we want something, we have to really want it. Like, want it so much we'll keep going no matter the obstacle. Next, we have to do a SWOT analysis, from a technical not emotional perspective (clinically), while ALSO being aware of any emotional hooks - not to get stuck when we think about them, but to know what areas to build support around. Then, one page business plan. Next: track, measure, and act. Every day. Treat it like your most valued athletic win. If you're not an athlete, think back to the last long-term success that you had, and utilize that model.
I personally, keep being grateful for due-diligence, and the deals I say no to. Sometimes, it takes years for an article to appear, and then I KNOW why I had said no. But before that data presented, there was somewhere else intangibly where I knew, and said no, trusting myself. It's additionally good to say yes to ourselves. Pick the right project, that you can say yes to, for you (regardless of other people). Invite good people, in various ways that they feel comfortable with and open to, into your project world. People like to share. (Everything we learned in kindergarten, is all we need to know about human kindness. There is a fun book about this.)
And, I think of Dr. Richard Bandler, who I love. He has the cutest short video, where he talks about confidence in a unique way. He states that people cultivate confidence, by doing the right thing, because it's the right thing. I was raised this way. Not from religion; from our family who has a long history of leadership. If you weren't raised this way, Bandler talks about it being like a muscle, that get's stronger over time. You KNOW the difference of what is right or wrong for you, based on how you feel LONG TERM. No human being can live in dissonance. What this means, is that all healthy people, are in alignment and consistent between what they feel, what they think, what they say, how they act. It all matches. This congruence, is also how the best companies and entrepreneurs, operate. This is where manifestation and magic (not magisk) comes from, and keeps coming. Alignment is required for longevity & sustainability.
It's also a sweet spot. Once you get there, you soar. You can do it. I believe in you.
There's a Hole in My Sidewalk by Portia Nelson
Chapter One of My Life
I walk down the street.
There's a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I fall in.
I am lost. I am helpless. It isn't my fault.
It still takes forever to find a way out.
Chapter Two
I walk down the same street.
There's a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I pretend I don't see it.
I fall in again.
I can't believe I'm in the same place!
But it isn't my fault.
And it still takes a long time to get out.
Chapter Three
I walk down the same street.
There's a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I see it there. I still fall in. It's a habit!
My eyes are open.
I know where I am. It is my fault.
I get out immediately.
Chapter Four
I walk down the same street.
There's a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I walk around it.
Chapter Five
I walk down a different street.”
Thursday, July 28, 2022
Saturday, July 9, 2022
Change Work - once expanded, can never go back by Nicole Wright
I felt honored when Editor in Chief of Entrepreneur Magazine, Jason Feifer, accepted a LinkedIn connection request. He is talented, and responded with an invitation to his newsletter, Build For Tomorrow. (If it's okay for me to share, the link to sign-up is here: https://jasonfeifer.bulletin.com/why-subscribe.)
I was struck with how he had broken down and reassimilated change [work], summarizing it as: "Panic, Adaptation, New Normal, and then Wouldn’t Go Back."
For months now, when asked about my next steps, of course I know inside (we all do). I am trained in confidentiality, protecting the corporation, our assests; I know better than to tell people my next steps. (There is something very interesting to me about the TONALITY of the statement I just made. Tony Robbins advises to "tell everyone". There is a distinction. (i) You should tell people what you are offering. (ii) I believe you should refrain from sharing your next steps until they have materialized and are secure. (It's about strategy, discretion, safety, protecting your IP. )
When queried, I will either tell a cute story or hesitate (deflect). The only part I have been comfortable saying aloud to others is: now that I know what I know, I can never go back [to the way it was before].
"A mind that is stretched by a new experience can never go back to its old dimensions." - Oliver Wendell Holmes, Jr.
If you wanted a short musing before moving on to your next task, you can stop reading here. If you'd like to join me on a journey similar to The Little Prince, feel free to continue below.
I saw this flower on my walk, and it reminded me of the Rose in The Little Prince. Jason Merchant gave me that book in 2014, and I loved it and him. It has been years now, and whenever I think about the version of him that I knew then (Deepak Chopra views the physical body more like a verb - in action - with the ability to heal and shift and change), I always smile with philia, the greek word for intimate, authentic, friendship.
While Merchant is a real person, I believe in archetypes when story-telling, and in change-work. Merchant is who is he. To me, I appreciate his character (his ethics and morals); and I value the way I was inspired when I knew him.
Merchant wanted to change the world. At the time, I was working on my small part in contributing to people feeling better (I was still doing therapy consulting) & economic empowerment (I had invested in co-working). He was working on a water project and solar project, as well as continuing his art, where he has drawn for Pixar, iPhone, more. He also was a self-taught developer, and simply brilliant. He was doing work for major companies and eliciting 6 figures for a website. He was so FAST. His exceptional world class quality plus SPEED that he produced results, blew me away.
I am different than him. I am slow and methodical with the things I enjoy doing, and like taking my time to make it great (as this is where I gain pleasure). (Things that are easy and fast for me, are not as much fun.) When I do business consulting for VC, then yes, I absolutely factor speed in and have gotten much praise for delivering best in class results at a fraction of the time. That work, pays well, but doesn't feel as good to me. I like the projects. I like the results and what I can do personally after a project. The work/life balance during a project hasn't existed before, and so I am reluctant with this type of work. I ended up choosing a career for myself in something essential, that many did not know how to do, or did not want to do, that was intimidating, that paid me very well, and afforded quality of life. This career also allows me much freedom in saying yes or no, and scaling. It's personal. It's not how you run a business. It's how an artist or creative engages in their craft. Mine is just more serious. As for how to run a company, yes, in this area, I periodically invest, and then yes, the rules apply. Taking the earnings from my profession, and investing, I treat the investments as VC's taught me; that area of work is highly rewarding.
Jason Merchant came into my life after I had over-invested. I was using the project model I had used for consulting, for my investments. Only with consulting projects, I had long breaks to recharge. Whereas with long-term investment projects, I hadn't built in enough balance nor time to recharge. So what do you think happened?
Burn-out, athletic adrenal fatigue; pretty much the normal things high achievers who fail to build in balance and are also over-training get. I worked with MD's for performance engineering, exited many of my investments (which many investors I met down the line later, criticized me for closing profitable brands and income streams - but my life and my health is more important than any of that. Period. I also had already done change management consulting and backed myself into a corner that was uncomfortable with one investment. The other investments - I honestly wasn't motivated to keep showing up - and this is what you get if you (a) invest in something you don't know enough about, (b) aren't interested in, or otherwise what related to me (c) adrenals - so I closed them.
It was slightly painful. Somewhat costly. But in the end - it was the right choice for me at the time. I gained immesurable freedom.
I began traveling, and met Merchant at a hostel (which at the time I enjoyed so much more than Four Seasons - seriously - alone at your swanky hotel or surrounded by vibrant Adventurers? You choose.) One secret strategy that I use fairly often, is to allow people to project. This is super helpful in interviews. I usually use it as a personal screening tool. If I want to go deeper with someone, it's going to be someone who actually can see me clearly. Merchant looked at me, and his eyes were knowing, insightful. He could clearly see two internal archetypes that I play in sometimes, which many other people cannot: Siddhartha & The Little Prince. I liked that he saw me. (We all want to be seen clearly; and I think this is the simplest gift you can give to most people, if you're able to.) I asked him questions, and he was quiet. It took time to draw him out. I liked that he was self-preserved. When he did speak, as he chose his words carefully, they meant more. When he got to his comfort zone, and spoke about the things he loved, he talked about astronomy & physics, mathematics & engineering, and details about that which he was interested in that only a prodigy would be able to describe in such a way. My ears were delighted. I was in heaven. I used to call him when I was doing space renovations and just listen to his voice on the other end, filling my mind with the most beautiful scientific things I could imagine.
No matter which kind of love, eros, philia, storge, agape, I read from a relationship therapist that women fall in love between the ears, and I believe it. For me it is the tone (pitch, quality, strength), as well as tempo, pace. It also has to do with honesty, respect, and heart.
I find this true, for me, that the act of listening and talking, changes things; when getting to know new people, for business formation.
I knew what I was doing for me, when I was traveling, but I had never stated it aloud until Merchant took the time to get to know me, and we both drew each other out from our private internal sanctuaries, by going deeper. This also, is a gentle yet profound gift, that one person can give to another.
Merchant had made several suggestions for me, which I wasn't ready for at the time. I was acutely aware, later on, which bids he had made of me, to which I said no, but that my internal heart had said yes. Later on I ended up accomplishing each of those bids, by myself, because I wanted to. This is one example of the power of influence. Only with Merchant and me specifically, we both had made a great selection as to match - where we both wanted the same things. The way he wanted to do things, and the way I felt comfortable based on past experience, was the disconnect. Like Professional Cycling. I'll come back to this.
There are excellent NLP tools which are highly beneficial in business, negotiating, and for performance teams, which help people to realign to a common goal when they get off track. Almost always, people report greater happiness for coming together again. To divide or to congeal? My take is like Ghee. Pick high quality ingredients, cook, strain, then congeal. One bad apple does spoil the barrel. Choose good things. Choose good people. Do the work. Congeal with what is excellent.
When I began traveling as a lifestyle 2013-2014, "how you do anything is how you do everything". I take the Myers-Briggs "Perceiver" approach (my natural state), and want to see and touch and taste everything, and assume that everyone is good, and like attracts like. (I also have everything locked, protected, faraday, security, etc.) I was rocking in my "P", until it moved from the subconsious feeling/knowing, into the conscious knowing, which is the verbal lobe, and this happened around The Little Prince. Once I consciously knew what I was doing, and had a language to describe it to others, then I became much more discriminating, and was able to shift. The shift allowed me to move into a place that was more centered and strategic, focusing on business more, while still feeling that my need for exploration was being fulfilled. And so I began to do different types of business work, and travel in an even better way, for me.
In 2017 came a big divide, instead of congeal. It was over a few things, but for the purpose of this specific article, those points were about business and travel. And this is the call back to cycling.
Merchant had such a beautiful history, and such trust. We perhaps may have been equally similar as opposite. With the things we had different perspectives on, we each knew, from our experience, and I could give him my faith based on my trust for him in business. But with travel, I could not. Part of me wished I could, but then I would think about cycling, and no way, no way could I travel like he wanted me to travel.
A decade before, I was at UC Berkeley and had ditched my car and was cycling as a commuter. A couple years later I ended up dating a man who had been on the USA Cycling Team. What had been 3 miles, eventually became, for me, trips from San Francisco to Marin and back. Also longer commutes with 16 mile cycling days and 100 mile minimum weeks. I am an athlete. I competed through college. (Did county leagues after.) I know the 3 hour training days, and extra weight classes, extra nutrition, extra coaching, doing whatever it takes to win. For one school, we did win, State. In college, because I had a history of being injury free, I got over-confident and injured myself. I waited two months, made the same mistake, and next had to take more than double that time off to heal. So what does this mean? To me, it means if you want to win, you consult with the expert. If you want to protect the asset (in this case, you), you train correctly, do supportive rest, care, and LISTEN to the experts, as well as listen to your body. When I started cycling beyond commuting, I bought a new professional bicycle. One that was light enough for me to easily carry up and down three flights of stairs by myself (I'm a tiny size 2). I had experienced a flat tire while commuting, and never wanted that to happen in a remote area, so purchased self-healing tires, as well as mini bike repair kit, that was small, light, and had everything I needed. I bought a professional speedometer, to measure and track. I bought the right clothes, so that I could cycle in comfort and with ease. I had to eat differently, to support my energy on long rides. Because I already KNEW how to cycle well, but did not know how to cycle as well as Mr. USA Cycling Team, I asked him questions, and I learned. The end result is that I KNEW, kinesthetically, and mentally with confidence, that anything unexpected thrown at me during a ride of up to 32 miles, I could handle. And I did. Preparation = Prevention. It also creates CONFIDENCE, EASE, as well as SUCCESS.
I traveled 2013-2014 as my natural "P", soaking it all up. The Little Prince brought awareness, and so I shifted into the temperment that a person who knows what they are doing uses, for 2014-2016. I actually even had taken the time to write it all down (which I've since discarded those notes), of the ratio of success and failure I experienced as a traveler, as well as SWOT Analysis. Things you have to prepare for, like what happens if you run into a Credit Card Skimmer when you're in a different state or country? (Solution: my bank advised me never to enter my PIN; I always have multiple back-up options now as well; and I know who to contact at the FTC and local police.) 2016 I invested. 2018 I invested again. 2020-2021 I traveled and upgraded. I noticed my previous "perfected" system from 2016 wasn't working for me in the way I wanted anymore, and so I adapted and created some new systems that saved me countless hours during transitions, where I was able to delight in delicious photography, and other joys I wanted to experience.
CAREER & PERSONAL EXPANSION
The career I ended up choosing in my youth, was the right career for the quality of lifestyle I wanted. It created connections with those who are excellent in business. The project work was intense but significant. The time off, I got to do what I love: travel, photography, write.
Once expanded, one cannot go back. Or they can, but the quality / tonality of what was known before, now seems different. Nature and people and purpose seem different to me too. Knowing that I had already pre-chosen "to go back", I simply supplement, meditate, and take some "me" time after any stressful or intense project - to feel fully supported. The supplementation also, to me, makes everyday things seem more meaningul. That was my intent.
I have a dreamer inside who thinks she wants something different. This part of me is fulfilled when I travel, with my camera, when I write. I'm such a traditionalist about security, that I haven't been able to leave behind the salary of what I do for work, and instead, have been doing journalism, reporting, writing in my free time. (Now, if an editor or publisher could show me the business model of how creative careers work, then I could start to wrap my mind around it.)
CAREER & PERSONAL DREAMS - FOR EVERYONE
Here is what I DO KNOW about creatives and creative work. I had been invited to an author's reading (link to photos) in Los Angeles, and met Lily Tomlin.
I spoke with some of the other celebrities at the reading as well, asking them various questions that I thought they might want to be asked, that would make them feel good, and if appropriate, I asked some questions which I wanted to know for my own research.
I was mesmerized, delighted, and honored, to be in the presence of Tomlin, a woman who is one of the most exceptional talents in the world.
I asked her, when was it that she knew what she wanted to be?
She told me that she had known she had wanted to be an actress since she was 7 years old on her front porch. Her pitch changed pleasantly upward when she spoke, and her eyes looked up and to my right, remembering. Her lips smiled, in a way where I knew she was experiencing dopamine through remembering.
After speaking with Lily Tomlin, I felt convinced, that anyone who wants to do something, if they stick at it long enough, they will succeed, period. I felt that way, in part due to her grounded conviction and knowledge in her own abilities, as well as from what I could observe about the support structure specifically around her. The other massive talent in the room, they were all successful as well, each in their own right, and each at their own scale.
For the majority of people, talent is not enough and it's not key to achievement.
Now, Inherent Talent matters - the things that you are good at and might not even know; the skills that other people see you doing regularly, that you do without even thinking.
Gifted Talent, can only get people to a certain point, and they need to have appropriate temperament, discipline, structure, contacts, a set of working behaviors, as well as desire, to continue on.
A special subset of Gifted Talent, is Twice Exceptional, where I am a 2e kid, and this population I identify with is meaningful to me. I absolutely adore 2e kids. When you give them what they need, and are able to draw them out in a way that feels safe, they are truly remarkable individuals, brilliant beyond measure, and able to make such huge strides and contributions to humanity. Einstein was 2e. (His great-grandmother is in my family tree; before our trees split; I really like him.) A portion of my teens and twenties was learning strategies on how to overcome anything, and creating supportive structures to succeed. I relied on some structures, until I no longer needed them. I got into epigenetics, performance engineering, and high-dose intravenious vitamin therapy (Dr. Linus Pauling), and with MD help, I was able to "turn-off" one gene that had been giving me trouble through genetic testing and changes to diet. The end result, for me, is that I can fit into any work group (whereas before, when I had been working on getting to personal automation, I felt like I needed to discriminate more). Of course, 2e individuals usually thrive in gifted environments and with others who are 2e. But even so, 2e kids a lot of the time aren't necessarily into talent; for many it's about structure, safety, thriving, and also being a part of something they're highly interested in.)
If you're not talented, gifted, nor 2e, if you are willing to do something, and willing to do it in a way that is Above Average, Great, or Excellent, if you stick with it long enough, then you will also succeed. You'll succeed by duration, as over time others will age out or transition out. You'll also succeed through repetition, as you'll get stronger, wiser, better, over time.
SUMMARY
I think it's all scalable. Life, work, travel, excellence.
I think everything can work, if you want it to. If you work, it will, either sooner or later.
(That is a "chunked-up" perspective or generalization. It's a little bit like the Movie Triangle of Time - Money - Quality. If we were to chunk-down, then I would pull out due-diligence check-lists and formulas as well as assessments - very different. But if we are talking about more than 90% of people, and what most people want, then this is a fair generalization.)
As Feifer writes, "change happens in four phases - Panic, Adaptation, New Normal, and then Wouldn’t Go Back." Part of accepting change, is knowing which phase you're in. Or accepting that you don't know - that can be okay too. Goal fulfillment, is keeping thoughts, feelings, activities, on the desired goal. Don't look to the side. Don't look back. Like a race car driver, you keep looking forward. That's how you get there.
Much Heart, N
If this article impacted you positively, feel free to let me know. If you're an editor with comments, also feel free to share. If you'd like to connect with me on Twitter or Instagram: @walliserglobal.
I was struck with how he had broken down and reassimilated change [work], summarizing it as: "Panic, Adaptation, New Normal, and then Wouldn’t Go Back."
For months now, when asked about my next steps, of course I know inside (we all do). I am trained in confidentiality, protecting the corporation, our assests; I know better than to tell people my next steps. (There is something very interesting to me about the TONALITY of the statement I just made. Tony Robbins advises to "tell everyone". There is a distinction. (i) You should tell people what you are offering. (ii) I believe you should refrain from sharing your next steps until they have materialized and are secure. (It's about strategy, discretion, safety, protecting your IP. )
When queried, I will either tell a cute story or hesitate (deflect). The only part I have been comfortable saying aloud to others is: now that I know what I know, I can never go back [to the way it was before].
"A mind that is stretched by a new experience can never go back to its old dimensions." - Oliver Wendell Holmes, Jr.
If you wanted a short musing before moving on to your next task, you can stop reading here. If you'd like to join me on a journey similar to The Little Prince, feel free to continue below.
I saw this flower on my walk, and it reminded me of the Rose in The Little Prince. Jason Merchant gave me that book in 2014, and I loved it and him. It has been years now, and whenever I think about the version of him that I knew then (Deepak Chopra views the physical body more like a verb - in action - with the ability to heal and shift and change), I always smile with philia, the greek word for intimate, authentic, friendship.
While Merchant is a real person, I believe in archetypes when story-telling, and in change-work. Merchant is who is he. To me, I appreciate his character (his ethics and morals); and I value the way I was inspired when I knew him.
Merchant wanted to change the world. At the time, I was working on my small part in contributing to people feeling better (I was still doing therapy consulting) & economic empowerment (I had invested in co-working). He was working on a water project and solar project, as well as continuing his art, where he has drawn for Pixar, iPhone, more. He also was a self-taught developer, and simply brilliant. He was doing work for major companies and eliciting 6 figures for a website. He was so FAST. His exceptional world class quality plus SPEED that he produced results, blew me away.
I am different than him. I am slow and methodical with the things I enjoy doing, and like taking my time to make it great (as this is where I gain pleasure). (Things that are easy and fast for me, are not as much fun.) When I do business consulting for VC, then yes, I absolutely factor speed in and have gotten much praise for delivering best in class results at a fraction of the time. That work, pays well, but doesn't feel as good to me. I like the projects. I like the results and what I can do personally after a project. The work/life balance during a project hasn't existed before, and so I am reluctant with this type of work. I ended up choosing a career for myself in something essential, that many did not know how to do, or did not want to do, that was intimidating, that paid me very well, and afforded quality of life. This career also allows me much freedom in saying yes or no, and scaling. It's personal. It's not how you run a business. It's how an artist or creative engages in their craft. Mine is just more serious. As for how to run a company, yes, in this area, I periodically invest, and then yes, the rules apply. Taking the earnings from my profession, and investing, I treat the investments as VC's taught me; that area of work is highly rewarding.
Jason Merchant came into my life after I had over-invested. I was using the project model I had used for consulting, for my investments. Only with consulting projects, I had long breaks to recharge. Whereas with long-term investment projects, I hadn't built in enough balance nor time to recharge. So what do you think happened?
Burn-out, athletic adrenal fatigue; pretty much the normal things high achievers who fail to build in balance and are also over-training get. I worked with MD's for performance engineering, exited many of my investments (which many investors I met down the line later, criticized me for closing profitable brands and income streams - but my life and my health is more important than any of that. Period. I also had already done change management consulting and backed myself into a corner that was uncomfortable with one investment. The other investments - I honestly wasn't motivated to keep showing up - and this is what you get if you (a) invest in something you don't know enough about, (b) aren't interested in, or otherwise what related to me (c) adrenals - so I closed them.
It was slightly painful. Somewhat costly. But in the end - it was the right choice for me at the time. I gained immesurable freedom.
I began traveling, and met Merchant at a hostel (which at the time I enjoyed so much more than Four Seasons - seriously - alone at your swanky hotel or surrounded by vibrant Adventurers? You choose.) One secret strategy that I use fairly often, is to allow people to project. This is super helpful in interviews. I usually use it as a personal screening tool. If I want to go deeper with someone, it's going to be someone who actually can see me clearly. Merchant looked at me, and his eyes were knowing, insightful. He could clearly see two internal archetypes that I play in sometimes, which many other people cannot: Siddhartha & The Little Prince. I liked that he saw me. (We all want to be seen clearly; and I think this is the simplest gift you can give to most people, if you're able to.) I asked him questions, and he was quiet. It took time to draw him out. I liked that he was self-preserved. When he did speak, as he chose his words carefully, they meant more. When he got to his comfort zone, and spoke about the things he loved, he talked about astronomy & physics, mathematics & engineering, and details about that which he was interested in that only a prodigy would be able to describe in such a way. My ears were delighted. I was in heaven. I used to call him when I was doing space renovations and just listen to his voice on the other end, filling my mind with the most beautiful scientific things I could imagine.
No matter which kind of love, eros, philia, storge, agape, I read from a relationship therapist that women fall in love between the ears, and I believe it. For me it is the tone (pitch, quality, strength), as well as tempo, pace. It also has to do with honesty, respect, and heart.
I find this true, for me, that the act of listening and talking, changes things; when getting to know new people, for business formation.
I knew what I was doing for me, when I was traveling, but I had never stated it aloud until Merchant took the time to get to know me, and we both drew each other out from our private internal sanctuaries, by going deeper. This also, is a gentle yet profound gift, that one person can give to another.
Merchant had made several suggestions for me, which I wasn't ready for at the time. I was acutely aware, later on, which bids he had made of me, to which I said no, but that my internal heart had said yes. Later on I ended up accomplishing each of those bids, by myself, because I wanted to. This is one example of the power of influence. Only with Merchant and me specifically, we both had made a great selection as to match - where we both wanted the same things. The way he wanted to do things, and the way I felt comfortable based on past experience, was the disconnect. Like Professional Cycling. I'll come back to this.
There are excellent NLP tools which are highly beneficial in business, negotiating, and for performance teams, which help people to realign to a common goal when they get off track. Almost always, people report greater happiness for coming together again. To divide or to congeal? My take is like Ghee. Pick high quality ingredients, cook, strain, then congeal. One bad apple does spoil the barrel. Choose good things. Choose good people. Do the work. Congeal with what is excellent.
When I began traveling as a lifestyle 2013-2014, "how you do anything is how you do everything". I take the Myers-Briggs "Perceiver" approach (my natural state), and want to see and touch and taste everything, and assume that everyone is good, and like attracts like. (I also have everything locked, protected, faraday, security, etc.) I was rocking in my "P", until it moved from the subconsious feeling/knowing, into the conscious knowing, which is the verbal lobe, and this happened around The Little Prince. Once I consciously knew what I was doing, and had a language to describe it to others, then I became much more discriminating, and was able to shift. The shift allowed me to move into a place that was more centered and strategic, focusing on business more, while still feeling that my need for exploration was being fulfilled. And so I began to do different types of business work, and travel in an even better way, for me.
In 2017 came a big divide, instead of congeal. It was over a few things, but for the purpose of this specific article, those points were about business and travel. And this is the call back to cycling.
Merchant had such a beautiful history, and such trust. We perhaps may have been equally similar as opposite. With the things we had different perspectives on, we each knew, from our experience, and I could give him my faith based on my trust for him in business. But with travel, I could not. Part of me wished I could, but then I would think about cycling, and no way, no way could I travel like he wanted me to travel.
A decade before, I was at UC Berkeley and had ditched my car and was cycling as a commuter. A couple years later I ended up dating a man who had been on the USA Cycling Team. What had been 3 miles, eventually became, for me, trips from San Francisco to Marin and back. Also longer commutes with 16 mile cycling days and 100 mile minimum weeks. I am an athlete. I competed through college. (Did county leagues after.) I know the 3 hour training days, and extra weight classes, extra nutrition, extra coaching, doing whatever it takes to win. For one school, we did win, State. In college, because I had a history of being injury free, I got over-confident and injured myself. I waited two months, made the same mistake, and next had to take more than double that time off to heal. So what does this mean? To me, it means if you want to win, you consult with the expert. If you want to protect the asset (in this case, you), you train correctly, do supportive rest, care, and LISTEN to the experts, as well as listen to your body. When I started cycling beyond commuting, I bought a new professional bicycle. One that was light enough for me to easily carry up and down three flights of stairs by myself (I'm a tiny size 2). I had experienced a flat tire while commuting, and never wanted that to happen in a remote area, so purchased self-healing tires, as well as mini bike repair kit, that was small, light, and had everything I needed. I bought a professional speedometer, to measure and track. I bought the right clothes, so that I could cycle in comfort and with ease. I had to eat differently, to support my energy on long rides. Because I already KNEW how to cycle well, but did not know how to cycle as well as Mr. USA Cycling Team, I asked him questions, and I learned. The end result is that I KNEW, kinesthetically, and mentally with confidence, that anything unexpected thrown at me during a ride of up to 32 miles, I could handle. And I did. Preparation = Prevention. It also creates CONFIDENCE, EASE, as well as SUCCESS.
I traveled 2013-2014 as my natural "P", soaking it all up. The Little Prince brought awareness, and so I shifted into the temperment that a person who knows what they are doing uses, for 2014-2016. I actually even had taken the time to write it all down (which I've since discarded those notes), of the ratio of success and failure I experienced as a traveler, as well as SWOT Analysis. Things you have to prepare for, like what happens if you run into a Credit Card Skimmer when you're in a different state or country? (Solution: my bank advised me never to enter my PIN; I always have multiple back-up options now as well; and I know who to contact at the FTC and local police.) 2016 I invested. 2018 I invested again. 2020-2021 I traveled and upgraded. I noticed my previous "perfected" system from 2016 wasn't working for me in the way I wanted anymore, and so I adapted and created some new systems that saved me countless hours during transitions, where I was able to delight in delicious photography, and other joys I wanted to experience.
CAREER & PERSONAL EXPANSION
The career I ended up choosing in my youth, was the right career for the quality of lifestyle I wanted. It created connections with those who are excellent in business. The project work was intense but significant. The time off, I got to do what I love: travel, photography, write.
Once expanded, one cannot go back. Or they can, but the quality / tonality of what was known before, now seems different. Nature and people and purpose seem different to me too. Knowing that I had already pre-chosen "to go back", I simply supplement, meditate, and take some "me" time after any stressful or intense project - to feel fully supported. The supplementation also, to me, makes everyday things seem more meaningul. That was my intent.
I have a dreamer inside who thinks she wants something different. This part of me is fulfilled when I travel, with my camera, when I write. I'm such a traditionalist about security, that I haven't been able to leave behind the salary of what I do for work, and instead, have been doing journalism, reporting, writing in my free time. (Now, if an editor or publisher could show me the business model of how creative careers work, then I could start to wrap my mind around it.)
CAREER & PERSONAL DREAMS - FOR EVERYONE
Here is what I DO KNOW about creatives and creative work. I had been invited to an author's reading (link to photos) in Los Angeles, and met Lily Tomlin.
I spoke with some of the other celebrities at the reading as well, asking them various questions that I thought they might want to be asked, that would make them feel good, and if appropriate, I asked some questions which I wanted to know for my own research.
I was mesmerized, delighted, and honored, to be in the presence of Tomlin, a woman who is one of the most exceptional talents in the world.
I asked her, when was it that she knew what she wanted to be?
She told me that she had known she had wanted to be an actress since she was 7 years old on her front porch. Her pitch changed pleasantly upward when she spoke, and her eyes looked up and to my right, remembering. Her lips smiled, in a way where I knew she was experiencing dopamine through remembering.
After speaking with Lily Tomlin, I felt convinced, that anyone who wants to do something, if they stick at it long enough, they will succeed, period. I felt that way, in part due to her grounded conviction and knowledge in her own abilities, as well as from what I could observe about the support structure specifically around her. The other massive talent in the room, they were all successful as well, each in their own right, and each at their own scale.
For the majority of people, talent is not enough and it's not key to achievement.
Now, Inherent Talent matters - the things that you are good at and might not even know; the skills that other people see you doing regularly, that you do without even thinking.
Gifted Talent, can only get people to a certain point, and they need to have appropriate temperament, discipline, structure, contacts, a set of working behaviors, as well as desire, to continue on.
A special subset of Gifted Talent, is Twice Exceptional, where I am a 2e kid, and this population I identify with is meaningful to me. I absolutely adore 2e kids. When you give them what they need, and are able to draw them out in a way that feels safe, they are truly remarkable individuals, brilliant beyond measure, and able to make such huge strides and contributions to humanity. Einstein was 2e. (His great-grandmother is in my family tree; before our trees split; I really like him.) A portion of my teens and twenties was learning strategies on how to overcome anything, and creating supportive structures to succeed. I relied on some structures, until I no longer needed them. I got into epigenetics, performance engineering, and high-dose intravenious vitamin therapy (Dr. Linus Pauling), and with MD help, I was able to "turn-off" one gene that had been giving me trouble through genetic testing and changes to diet. The end result, for me, is that I can fit into any work group (whereas before, when I had been working on getting to personal automation, I felt like I needed to discriminate more). Of course, 2e individuals usually thrive in gifted environments and with others who are 2e. But even so, 2e kids a lot of the time aren't necessarily into talent; for many it's about structure, safety, thriving, and also being a part of something they're highly interested in.)
If you're not talented, gifted, nor 2e, if you are willing to do something, and willing to do it in a way that is Above Average, Great, or Excellent, if you stick with it long enough, then you will also succeed. You'll succeed by duration, as over time others will age out or transition out. You'll also succeed through repetition, as you'll get stronger, wiser, better, over time.
SUMMARY
I think it's all scalable. Life, work, travel, excellence.
I think everything can work, if you want it to. If you work, it will, either sooner or later.
(That is a "chunked-up" perspective or generalization. It's a little bit like the Movie Triangle of Time - Money - Quality. If we were to chunk-down, then I would pull out due-diligence check-lists and formulas as well as assessments - very different. But if we are talking about more than 90% of people, and what most people want, then this is a fair generalization.)
As Feifer writes, "change happens in four phases - Panic, Adaptation, New Normal, and then Wouldn’t Go Back." Part of accepting change, is knowing which phase you're in. Or accepting that you don't know - that can be okay too. Goal fulfillment, is keeping thoughts, feelings, activities, on the desired goal. Don't look to the side. Don't look back. Like a race car driver, you keep looking forward. That's how you get there.
Much Heart, N
If this article impacted you positively, feel free to let me know. If you're an editor with comments, also feel free to share. If you'd like to connect with me on Twitter or Instagram: @walliserglobal.
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